He invests his mother's bed

Nothing better than to be coiled up against Mom. The child seeks a sensual exchange , contact the body of his parent to find a physical pleasure and take the place of the rival parent . When he is not there, the little boy is tempted to enjoy it and play the part of the dad! Normal. And the solo mother can be tempted to sleep with him to console herself for the lack of a man . But it is not because the father is absent that he can not play his symbolic role as a third separator. It is enough for the mother to make it exist by the words: "Papa would not agree that you come into the bed."

The oedipus is played in the head and balanced if the mother, in case of separation, desires someone else or is interested in something else (work, life, friends). In this case, the child will go to see elsewhere, and if his father is not very present, he will always find in his entourage an adult masculine model to copy. On the other hand, he may find it difficult to regulate his oedipal if his mother makes him his little king, his exclusive love, by letting him believe that it fulfills it. Same thing if the father has completely disappeared from the circulation or if the mother despises or denigrates it: the child will find it difficult to idealize it!

He kisses his mother's breasts or buttocks

Even unwittingly, a mom can excite the desire of her little boy : her buttocks, her sex are just up to her height, like her cleavage when she leans to kiss her in bed, one night when she comes out! One must be careful not to maintain his excitement, to remain modest with his children , from 3 years. Avoid exposing oneself naked in the house and take his child on his knees when he struts naked. Overwhelmed by his impulses , the child of this age needs to be content and calmed.

She sits down and rubs herself on her father's knees

At this age the excitation is normal and transient. The little girl seeking pleasure in the most absolute candor, he must not react severely, at the risk of inhibiting it. But let him make him feel that he is not the dupe of these little gestures, not allowed between parent and child, saying, for example, without offense: "Calm, Lisa! What are you doing ? You go down if you continue! "

He ostensibly fiddles on the sofa
This oedipal crisis goes hand in hand with the discovery for the child of its genital organs , it looks at them, it touches ... It is sometimes also a bit exhibitionist . He enjoys showing his sex to adults. The little blonde of the TV commercial who goes naked in the living room of his parents filled with friends, unrolling the toilet paper, has an oedipal reaction! React with tact. Say in a natural tone: "If you want to touch the zizi, go to your room! I am your mother and I do not want to see you do it. "By integrating parental prohibitions , including incest , the child obtains respect for the law and acquires their morals. the path of socialization . The passage from raw impulses to morals is what we call the super-ego , that is to say, education , the consciousness of what is done and is not done. Feelings of shame, guilt, intimacy, modesty are part of the superego. At the end of the Oedipus, at about the age of 6-7 years, the child becomes sedate, calms down and discovers modesty, he no longer dares to show himself naked.

She put on make-up and stings her mother's clothes

Identification with the same - sex parent is the other aspect of the complex. When the child understood that he could not have his parents as sexual objects, he decided to be like them, he kept them in him as objects of identification . There is a moment when the rival becomes a model . To be able to seduce her father , she must resemble a woman, and therefore the closest model she has. And by wanting to imitate it, it actually seeks to install its femininity . And there, you, the mother, can already establish a complicity of woman to woman. Let her look at you, feel feminine, answer her questions.

She dragged her father and whispered: "When I grow up, I will marry you."
Even if the father is flattered, moved by this little doll that declares its flame to him, it must not leave ambiguity, because to respond as a seducer to the coquetry of his daughter prevents the latter from taking the steps. It is necessary to restore the order of the generations, not to let the child believe that he can compete with the spouse, saying for example: "No, it is not possible, I live with Mom, and you later , you will also meet a gentleman with whom ... "To act as if nothing had been heard would be an accomplice. Who is silent consents.

At 17, he idolizes his mother and makes him ambiguous cuddles

In adolescence, there may be a resurgence of the oedipus , especially if the first crisis has been complicated. Normally, when the parents have played their part, the child has sexually detached from them. He forgot, repressed what he felt for them. But in this case, obviously, the boy's surge of attraction for his mother stayed lit and woke up! And the mother may not always distance her, nor leave room for other partners outside the family. Let us not forget that the experience of the oedipus draws on the future sexuality , also determines in part the sexual orientation homo or hetero (which is definitively marked in adolescence). So when the parent plays the "erotic" game, this memory can be heavy to wear later. The child can keep an addiction to this father or mother, who will become enkyster in him. Normally, as a teenager, the young person suppresses the Oedipal burst so strongly that he displays a sometimes violent hostility towards the parent.

At 35, she fails to build a lasting romantic relationship

In fact, this story of Oedipus is never quite finished, for a woman always carries in her the image of her father, and a man, that of her mother. But this extreme case, which is quite frequent, reveals an unresolved oedipus , in which the young woman, who is too much occupied by a fantasized father , can not detach herself from her influence. Undoubtedly, in childhood, he had too much attraction. I see, in psychoanalytic consultation, many women suffering from having lived an ambiguous relationship with their father, who never regarded them as their little wife. They had an unclear look on them, perceived as "threatening" by the little girl they were.